I am Afraid of (extremely)Happiness

Well, these days are so sensitive for me, and so does my blog.
People love happiness, they're looking for it. So am I. I always find the positive things inside my unlucky days or experiences. I have a lot of things made me so desperate and down, but I always trying to find my great smile there.

Last night I couldn't sleep and suddenly I  thought about how wonderful is my life. I have lovely parents and sister and patient boyfriend and adorable friends. I wonder if I live without one of them. I am so afraid with my own happiness. I'm afraid of losing them. They really here for me. I'm spoiled, annoying, and sensitive. only those people who accept my weakness. Whatever happened, I couldn't be more grateful than having them in my life.

This is cliche, but if you really think about it, you'll see how wonderful life is.
I don't know. I live with complete facilities and a lot of love, it makes me easier to be so thankful to God. I'm afraid if all of this (people and things) are gone, I would question my gratefulness. I don't want to be like that person. I really want to be a person who really can see that there's good things in something bad.

For me, it's a bit clumsy to say I love you dad-mom-sist.. but I really love them. And I hope if I say love everyday to the other that I love (especially boo), they don't feel so bored and my-lovely-love-things-to-say-every days are hopefully always be special, because it really comes from my heart. And there is always good things in our unlucky experiences.

XOXO,
Rania

Hate

Sometimes you make mistakes in purpose or not, then people simply hate you or dislike you. It's like the first year, people like you, and the next year people dislike you.

I am a sensitive and a bit emotional person, when someone hate me i"ll think of it everyday. Now, I want to make it understandable for me. I mean, yes some people like me, but there's also a time when they hate me.

I don't have to be liked by all of people, do we?
They can dislike me too, they can judge me as long as I have people or someone who stand next tome. If they don't like me, it's okay, it's their right. If I feel lonely by their hatred, I can ask them why and talk to them. I won't push them to like me or my personality an what I chose. I am human being who always try to be better for my beloved people around me and for my life.

I also want to understand them who I dislike. And sometime these things are complicated. Well, we're just human. So, that's okay.