Happiness Poetically

I'm not a person who's quite poetic. I just like to write what I want like this. Childishly, emotionally, and usually my saying and writing are not understandable. Maybe my brain has dyslexia.
Most of the time I talk with myself in my very tiny heart. I argue and discuss things with my mind.
"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

I feel that lyric now, but I'm not stuck, this is the way I chose. I'm not waiting, this is my path. God is not late, He already poured me happiness. Maybe they have to change their life to feel happy.
I hope happiness is as easy as licking Vanilla ice cream. Happiness is looking for something good in every path you chose. So, it's not like I don't like adventure (I'm not an adventurer), I am a thinker.

I still automatically compare myself to somebody else's life which is quite depressing. Complicated is when you judge someone's life is perfect or not, but actually you're not in their shoes. Or. Thinking that your life is the most perfect or miserable life, while you don't see somebody else's life deeply. So, I just be grateful for who I am.

It doesn't mean life is easy for me and I did nothing to get something. I just try to be calmer than my parents. Ya, maybe I'm a little bit too slow than you, but I have my own dream. I'm proud of you that you can make yours comes true. Mine still in a process.

My happiness is not as poetic as yours, but it's not that simple either. Well, we struggle for the same thing. but in different way, time, and place. When you read this, make sure that you and I are happy in different place, time, and way.

24 From Friends, Aunties, and Cousins

Mey, me, and Yaya. minus sissy :'(

So happy that I can celebrate my birthday (eventhough we pay our own food, sorry guys). So I took metromini twice from home, and then I took Kopaja 19 and asked the man beside me is it the right bus to Ratu Plaza. He said yes and asked me am I going to hang out or looking for a job. I said, hang out. I was wearing blue stripped tanktop, long brown cardigan, jeans, and converse backpack. Am I look like Dora the Explorer or what?! Then it was almost arrived at Ratu Plaza overpass. The man beside me said I better stop right beside the overpass. I said, yeah sure, that's what I'm going to do. Finally he said, be careful.. Okay in English it means usual, he really care.. But I'm in Jakarta and he is Indonesian (I think his age is the same as mine, or around25-28). So it sounds "Hati-hati ya.." It sounds awkward, I feel like a little girl escaped from my house and played alone. Well, thank you Mr. Who.

I met my friend, Mey/Meilisa and go to Plaza Senayan from behind Ratu Plaza, and finally to Senayan City. We were waiting for Yaya who just arrived from Singapore to Soekarno-Hatta Airport an hour ago. SHe brought us chocolate and gave me a Bioderma Sensibio H2O (such a perfect toner fragance free). I felt a little bit uncomfortable with my childish-so-what outfit, while people there wore formal (maybe because most of them just from their office or something). Well, this is my day, so what. We went straight to Sushi Tei and I got a birthday cake free. The birthday cake was 4little sushi, some salmons, tobiko, and a candle. Plus a birthday song from the chef (He came from the kitchen).

After finish our dinner we went to Starbucks and sat, so that we could have a chitchat a little longer. Mey was too sleepy, because he came right after work, so it's better she went home. Not long after Mey went home, my boo came with a friend and we (Yaya, me, boo, and Teguh) talked randomly about so many things. Finally I was afraid to go home, because I didn't remember the way home, even if I use a cab/taxi. So, I sleepover in Yaya's house in Puri Cinere, and went home tomorrow's night with boo took me home with his fiend's motorcycle.

Well, we met at Citos/ Cilandak Town Square and he just drink cheap wine and a little bit dizzy. Sucks. We ate burgers and went home safely (after I was terrified by the way he drove and also with another transportation. creepy!)

Me and my young cousins.

The next 2 days later, I went to Sushi Tei in Kokas. My Auntie treated us. I got my birthday cake again :3

Far from home doesn't mean I feel lonely :)

You Can't Always Get What You Want, Girls.. (Relationship)

You want to marry a man with brown skin, but all you got is a light skin man.
He is more mature, have a steady job, you are so click with his family, but you both are so confuse about your different religion. You plan to have 2kids, one is in the same religion with you, the other with the father, but how if God only give you one? You wanna marry in your church, while your mother in law suggest a Catholic church. You both are agree with this different religion and won't make it into problems, but you don't even know how it works. You don't know if the Father is agree or not (in Catholic, it depends on the Father's decision).

You wanna have many experiences in relationship/having boyfriend, but all you got is one for almost 4 years. Sometimes you think you're not brave enough to secede from this relationship and find another fresh relationship. You wanna taste another love, but you just can't resist this one, so you just can't stop no matter how bored you are even though this one is an ignorant. It makes you become so fretful and annoying (even you say to yourself that you become someone you don't wanna be, you become so sucks).

You wanna have a relationship which last forever, husband who can sing or play music, but you meet so many boys who can sing or play music, and you try to find your prince in them. Finally the one who becomes your husband, he can't sing or play music, but he's mature and can take care of you, while those Ex's can't. You always pay yours and your boyfriend's meal, pay his ticket, pay things; because most of them didn't have a steady job, while they follow your lifestyle. Now, you were take care by your fiance.

You wanna have someone you can count on and multitasking, so that he can be a figure of a man and a father you can rely on, can take care of you, but all you got is a boy who still stuck in his own world, clumsy, still learn how to be a man, and ignorant. Yet, the boy is accepting you with your own weakness and wanna try hard to find happiness for close people surrounding him. He always try hard to make you comfortable (try hard to push aside his selfishness, try really hard), while you always complaining and afraid of everything. Sometimes he is wrong, but he always try to make it up.

You wanna be a number one, but all you got is a man (the first child of a family who didn't do anything for his family yet) who loves another thing first and make you almost the last. He used to spoil you, but now you see how close he is with his family. Somehow, you feel left behind. You both are so click, the religion doesn't matter, adaptable in any lifestyle, but you feel hesitate with the family.

You are in love with your boyfriend. You love him so much, and so does he. Religion doesn't matter, he's not handsome, but you feel very comfortable around him. You know he's the one, but not your/his family. It turns out that (your family and his) they are sworn enemies. Maybe it because the race, religion, or other dissent. You might be think your story is the same as Romeo and Juliet's. You and him try harder to past the avalanche. You know people can't choose love, but love chooses you. There must be a reason why you and someone that your family dislike are in love. You believe God gives the best way for you to live. You hope that Romeo and Juliet are be with you now.

Geez.. You can't always get what you want. A friend of mine said that lovers always have a main problem as a basic in love (as long as it doesn't hurt you or him). Sacrifice is needed, but understand each other is a must. I don't always right, but those stories and facts are real. Me myself still confused, sometimes sigh, but I would love to talk about it. We can plan everything, so that we have a standard, but reality doesn't come based on what you want.

*Results of my conversation with a friend who will soon be engaged

Jakarta's Public Transportation: Kopaja

There are a lot of public transportation in Jakarta. Metromini/angkot, Kopaja, TransJakarta, Ojek (motorcycle),  Bemo, etc. I've never been in Bemo, because I think Bemo doesn't appear in all Jakarta.
Me myself, since I worked at Cikini  last August, that was the first time I had to use Kopaja to get to my office. KOPAJA is Koperasi Angkutan Jakarta (Jakarta Transport Cooperative). What I see about Kopaja.. Kopaja is a bus with seats, but a lot of people would stand up in the middle or even near the door (by the way, the door is always open, even when inside the bus is full). It has no air conditioner. We must stand huddled, so others get a place. There's always women with skirt, and I can't imagine how hard she keep her skirt stay neat and polite.

At first I was afraid, because of so many stories about thug or bad people in Kopaja. When I saw so many women fight for their life against crime in Kopaja, I became bold. I mean..
They work everyday and use Kopaja to get to their work place. They are women, with long hair, short hair, with skirt, trousers, make-up, no make-up, backpack, handbag, employee, student, mother, etc.
So, why should I be afraid of it? I love this city full of crime, and they are in the same position like me. When I have to use public transportation, I put my face as if I do not care about surrounding me and pretended to be clever and knew everything( of course at first I ask my friend and cousins about which should I pick to get somewhere and learn from map). They see me as if I did not hesitate and confused.

New Blog!

Guys, I made a new blog called Messy Shelf. It contains my review and opinion about movies and books that I've watched and read. Usually, I just write the good one. Well, so far..
Anyway, the language I use is Indonesian, but sometimes I use English (Just follow my head. Sometimes I forgot the Indonesian or the English of a word).
This blog is not an expert, just something I like. You can find some good movies and books here. Most of all are Horror movies and Children Literature books, because those are the most favorite things for me. Don't go away, because you can find another genre (impossible if I just watch and read those genres).

So please come to my new blog and give comment ^_^
http://messyshelf.blogspot.com/