I am Afraid of (extremely)Happiness

Well, these days are so sensitive for me, and so does my blog.
People love happiness, they're looking for it. So am I. I always find the positive things inside my unlucky days or experiences. I have a lot of things made me so desperate and down, but I always trying to find my great smile there.

Last night I couldn't sleep and suddenly I  thought about how wonderful is my life. I have lovely parents and sister and patient boyfriend and adorable friends. I wonder if I live without one of them. I am so afraid with my own happiness. I'm afraid of losing them. They really here for me. I'm spoiled, annoying, and sensitive. only those people who accept my weakness. Whatever happened, I couldn't be more grateful than having them in my life.

This is cliche, but if you really think about it, you'll see how wonderful life is.
I don't know. I live with complete facilities and a lot of love, it makes me easier to be so thankful to God. I'm afraid if all of this (people and things) are gone, I would question my gratefulness. I don't want to be like that person. I really want to be a person who really can see that there's good things in something bad.

For me, it's a bit clumsy to say I love you dad-mom-sist.. but I really love them. And I hope if I say love everyday to the other that I love (especially boo), they don't feel so bored and my-lovely-love-things-to-say-every days are hopefully always be special, because it really comes from my heart. And there is always good things in our unlucky experiences.

XOXO,
Rania

Hate

Sometimes you make mistakes in purpose or not, then people simply hate you or dislike you. It's like the first year, people like you, and the next year people dislike you.

I am a sensitive and a bit emotional person, when someone hate me i"ll think of it everyday. Now, I want to make it understandable for me. I mean, yes some people like me, but there's also a time when they hate me.

I don't have to be liked by all of people, do we?
They can dislike me too, they can judge me as long as I have people or someone who stand next tome. If they don't like me, it's okay, it's their right. If I feel lonely by their hatred, I can ask them why and talk to them. I won't push them to like me or my personality an what I chose. I am human being who always try to be better for my beloved people around me and for my life.

I also want to understand them who I dislike. And sometime these things are complicated. Well, we're just human. So, that's okay.

Many Ideas in Junk

Well, have you ever felt upset because you have a lot of ideas in your mind, but you can't make it real?
I felt it again and again and deep in my heart I just so jealous with people who can express their ideas.

You want to be a doctor because you like to help people, beside your grades are perfect, but you have no money to go to college or maybe your father asks you to help him in his shops or something.
You want to be a journalist because it's interesting for you and it's your passion, but your brother is sick and your family sacrifices their time and money for him, so it's not appropriate to ask your parents about your passion.
Once you win a photography competition and the money can pay your own school needs, you're so happy because you earn money from your passion, but later you can't buy films or even print your photos because actually your parents prepare the money only for your school, not more, and you have to work for your own passion if you are capable to.
But.. if you are a well-off person and have no problems with your passion or maybe your parents are rich, you do not have to be so worry.

I love playing piano/keyboard, and dad gave me one, but I couldn't have a piano lesson. God gives me ability to learn it on my own, even it's not that perfect. I don't really waste my talent, do I?
I love creating necklace and woman's accessories when I was in junior high, but my tools are not that complete, so i give up.
I love making stories, but there's no time anymore to type it. I'm not that young anymore to have a free time.
I love photography, but has no money for that. It's for my daily needs.

When I was in Jakarta and my father still work, I usually went to malls and plazas in that city, or maybe Bandung. In my era, PG (not a real name haha) is a very classy plaza. I love it. Sometimes, we just ate at hokben or buy things. This lifestyle influenced my woman's passion about shopping and fashion. Now, I should put aside my glamorous things, but I still can mix and match my clothes and dresses to be like my tasty style, but still, I just so jealous to someone who can buy materials and make it into dresses and pay the tailor, or maybe this person can sew it herself/himself.
People say I didn't try hard, I wasted my money, I just not into it, and things that let me down.
Actually, I can make my ideas come true, but maybe it's just not the right moment.

Random things; Marshmallow, Yoghurt, The Body Shop's Strawberry

Mouse Head Marshmallow

from Paris Bakery

Mini Shower Gel (Strawberry)

birthday present from The Body Shop

YagGo Banana

Banana Yoghurt

Purple Shoes

I designed it!

it looks like playful Barbie shoes.

If it's red, it'll look more gorgeous,

but I already have a red shoes.

Then, purple is awesome too

:*

Frank Wurst Yogyakarta

It is in Sabirin, Kotabaru.

German style of food.

Sausage, beer, sauerkrauts, and desserts.

You can choose the size of the sausage whether it is female (small) or male (big).

In german, this kind of sausage should be eaten with potato and sauerkrauts.

you can choose your vegetables; sauerkrauts, spinach-something, sauteed veggie or something.

you can choose your potato; wedges, mashed, french fries or something

you can choose your sausage's sauce; champignon, black pepper, barbecue, cheese .

Guten Appetit!

Panji dari Bobung

Three mask makers from Bobung collaborate on an exhibition entitled "Panji dari Bobung 'in Yogyakarta Cultural Bentara (BBY) from 18 to 29 September 2012. The exhibition showcased about 50 more masks which aimed preserving the classic artwork for completeness Panji dance or puppet mask.

Job Interview2..

Well, I told my dad and mom, and they was supporting m, but, due to lack of preparation, I was not accepted. But that's okay, at least I've tried :D

Warung Ryan

Warung Ryan is next to Samirono Dormitory of Stella Duce 1

Sagan- Yogyakarta

My favorite: Pizza Mie + Chilli (Rp.4000,-)

When I lived in that dormitory, I liked to eat here in front of the tv with the owner's little boy.

Yesterday, I ate noodle pizza with rice and soup noodle.

The owner (the woman) still remember me, but not my name.

Well, the place is too hot, I don't know why I liked to have a chit-chat for hours in there with my friends.

Nostalgia..

Job Interview..1

Dear papa, I sent an application for a part-time job in Museum of Affandi as an English Guide.
When I sent the application, I didn't sent my High School's certificate, I took a picture with a cell phone and print it immediately, and today they told me to have an interview for 30minutes and I don't have any idea what should I do in 30 minutes? Speaking in English in 30 minutes??? erghhh..I don't know.
 
I haven't told you paps heheh. You told me to do my thesis only, but I think I have to find something to do to apply my skill. I do this not for the sake of money, but for my self confidence.
I'm afraid you won't let me, if I told you. I was so curious how people have their confidence in something they haven't done before. Well, I have done something like this before as a peer-partner of ACICIS (Australian Consortium for In-Country Indonesian Studies) for Australian Teachers.
Let's see..

Stripes is Alright, We are Alright

We had such a good time in college.

Blurry Pink

Family Gatherings

purple flooooo'er

Pool Party

We were swimming, snack-ing, had a dinner, photo-shoots, and dancing time.

Nylon Sunshine Time!

Hot Monday!

NYLON woman  is too bright for me to be read in

this hot Monday.

The sunshine is too happy

it makes me thirsty

Blue, Red, and Yellow..

HELLO!

Shiny Floor

Blue is Good

It is a long-ago photo

PMS, You Guys Never Understand Our Selfish Side

PMS (Pramenstrual Syndrome). We, women, feel something you guys never feel.
Physically: Breast swelling and tenderness, acne,  lack of energy, suddenly need sweet or salty food so we'll get fat faster, decreased sexual desire, migraine, hard to sleep,etc.

 Emotionally: depressed, hopelessness, anger, irritability, sadness, mood swings, inability to concentrate, anxiety, etc.
http://women.webmd.com/pms/premenstrual-syndrome-pms-symptoms

When we have our PMS, you guys will mad at us or ignore us. You guys think that we make you boring and there's no time for you guys to spoil us and listen our laments, you think you have another things important. We, women, most of the time (when we have our PMS) cannot thing logically and accept your reasons, we just need someone who we trust the most to accompany us to listen our laments and rub our back and tell us:

" Hey, it's not the end of the world. You don't have to worry so much about this. I know you can handle it. You're better than me to handle this feeling. Hey, you know I was planning to play this vid game with a friend,and I'll text you later to make sure you're okay. "

These days I feel my thesis will kill me and I just cannot do my thesis tonight, I don't think I can concentrate on it. Really. Tonight, I think I need to be spoiled a bit with some chit chats and someone who patiently listen (without distracted by texting of course, as always)and calm me down just for my PMS.

I don't need to be ignore or someone told me I have to race my thesis so that I can graduate this years, It is my dream when I'm not in my PMS, I just too emotional when I'm in PMS. Don't you get it?

We, women, just can't admit that we are in PMS. We don't want you guys treat us like you are insincere, like it is snide. At that time, it's like we don't really know what happened to us.

My Day

Swimming

order fruit punch and tequila

Enjoying our lunch

order Sushi Party and Beef Ramen

at Silla

We were painting something

while watching The Hunger Games

and ate rib soup

Thank You..

Javanese Comedy - Tresnaku Patimu

Well, I do not know the meaning of the title.

My father invited me and my sister to accompany him to watch this.

Javanese Comedy or Kethoprak usually used Javanese formal language

which we actually don't understand,

but we can still laugh because it does funny!

They are the players.

Applause!!

Stella Duce (Stece) High School Yogyakarta, 64th birthday

Happy 64th birthday my beloved school :*

When I saw they dance wearing Srikandi's costume (but with mini skirt)

I drop my jaw

They're pretty and yes Stece's dance always gorgeous.

We were with:

PRETTY ASIAN SNOW WHITE

BLUE unknown PRINCESS

and

PRINCESS AURORA

New Fun Things!

Illustration School: let's draw cute animal

by: Sachiko Umoto

I love this book!

It's like I wanna draw all of them on my wall

It's like I wanna paint them on my wall

but I mayn't.

I'll try to paint them on canvas :D

hohohohohohoho

 This book entitled DANUR.

Danur is the water that comes out of the body of the dead.

This is maybe a spooky book because of the title,

but it is not!

This books taught people about life after death.

The story told by Rissa Sarasvati.

She really experienced it.

She can see ghosts (it's the part of the spooky things),

but it's a sad story, you know!

Now you'll be so curious about it :P

Paris Bakery Yogyakarta

Meat Pizza with Salad

Meat and Mozzarella Cheese Puff Pastry

Twinings Peach and Three Red Fruits

Blueberry Pie

Just Pringles and have fun with some friends

in a cozy cafe.

Enjoyed Solo But Not solo Adventure

I came from Jakarta. A big city with a lot of plazas and malls. I lived with them. It's been a few years I didn't touch Jakarta and their malls. This month, because of my family wants something different than Jogjakarta, we planned to go to Solo to buy batik dress and to Paragon to visit Ace Hardware hehehehhe.

Why Ace Hardware? Why not boutique or history places?

Because we have our own world in Ace Hardware. There are amazing stuffs there.

Sometimes I just wanna see dogs barking and cats meowwing.

Most of the times, I'd love to explore the store and found things that I wouldn't find in ordinary supermarket.

What are you looking for?

Saucepan?

Here they are:

Dog and cat saucepan!

 There's also pig saucepan

Hello Kitty teapot (and Hello Kitty has complete stuffs)

I found this little fairy.

Fairies in a lot of faces can be put on your garden or pond.

I really wanna have it, but I don't have garden or pond.

If I put them on somewhere else in home, they will be swept.

What is that!?

That is Toilet Brush!

They are so cool and cute and I love it!

Buy me one, the Dinosaurs,

and I will diligently brushing my toilet.

Hey-ho! I love this stuff so much!

They are aromatherapy candles.

My favorite is Honeydew Melon.

They are a bit too expensive for me, I bought the little one.

It's only 9 to 10 thousands rupiahs.

Hoho I love Ace Hardware : P

Enjoyed my Sushi and Bento here, Niagara Sushi. I also like my sister's Udon.

I love Ace Hardware. A lot of amazing stuffs there.

Anyway, Jakarta has more complete stuffs than in Solo.

I became very excited, cool, and tacky : p

Guest

Knock knock.. Pretty, can I come in?

Knock knock.. I made Honey Cake for you and your family

Wear your black dress and meet my friend Earin

Spread your wings 'cause we're going to have a party

Breakfast with Garfield

 Time to breakfast! Today is a lazy day, so I made a quick breakfast.

Cornflakes and Coco Pops, pour milk, and put a banana. Yummy! : D Then, I sat on my bed with Mr. Garfield and watched movies from my laptop.

Yogyakarta Art Festival (FKY)

I found my name!

Do you find yours?

I was stranded on Penguin Spirit Island..

They were died because of garbage

and oil polution in the Arctic

and also the melting iceberg.

Parangtritis' Fresh Seafood

 Me and my big family (uncles and aunties) were enjoying South Beach of Yogyakarta. At first, they want to go to Wonosari Beach, but realizing that my uncles and aunties are old people, so I suggest the closest beach: Parang Tritis. The last time I went to Parangtritis, it wasn't a nice beach because of its crowded and a lot of garbage every where. ewwhh.. the beach was a bit shabby.

But then, I got out of the car and ready to see not-so-beautiful-beach. But still..I was swayed by the wind, sea, sand and the waves. A lot of food stalls there and yes a bit shabby around the stall. People rent motorcycle or something, sell coconut, and seafood in the stalls. Suddenly, the was a man talked to my uncle that he and the other fisherman still sell fresh fish from the sea. Of course my uncle said 'Well, let's see!'

 I forgot what are the fish, but we bought a lot for 8 people. We bought the fish and pay a stall to cook it plus we ordered some shrimps. yummmm... We can choose what flavor will be their cuisine. Some were grilled, some were Padang Sauce. I was too enjoy the food, so I forgot to capture them hahahhah

 

This is Gerard, my uncle from Holland. He was enjoying his fresh coconut. For him, enjoying beach with drinking coconut water is a holidayyyy : D

Ambarawa Station and Wonosari Bukit Bintang Resto

This station is very old. The tile is originally from German or Holland, I'm not sure, but it's still the same tile since colonization. This Ambarawa Station is also a museum of old stuffs; train, stemple, telephone, ticket, calculator, and many things that were used in this old station.

I love this old station, but too bad there's nothing seems special for me to see, even though I was interested with its architecture and old things. I thought we can use one of those trains : (

 

We were in Bukit Bintang Resto. It was a Restaurant  on the hill of Wonosari.For me, the food were not special..but..the view is very gorgeous. We can see stars and colorful street lights were assimilated. Sorry that I cannot take a picture of it because my camera cannot captured it. It means, you have to see it by yourself. In real : )

Breakfast and Evening Snack

Sereal with milk!

Broccoli Juice! 

Spinach with eggs: melt butter, add spinach, clean up the pan with tissue, scramble eggs, add the spinach, VOILA !

Evening snacks.. I bought cilok (a Sundanese street food) and ate them with karak 

and drink a hot lemon tea, while watching TV to spent my lazy evening..

Paris Bakery

Today Yogyakarta is very hot.

This Afternoon I was wearing yellow batik summer dress, I tanned my legs -_-

And my boy was dying because of his long shirt hoho..

We had a lazy time in Paris Bakery Yogyakarta with Olivier and Patrick from Australia, later I'll upload their photos.

I love dessert! My boy only ordered Foret Noire/black forest.

These are the dessert !

Rainbow cake and Blueberry Pastry (on my bon: Gateau frais and Flan myrtille)

Fraisier and Mint Macarron

Phuket(Thai) and Bungong Jeumpa(Aceh)

Food heals my mood before go to shopping. If something let me down and I get bad mood and people say women can get her mood back when they go to shopping..It is wrong for me. I have to eat first. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be delicious and make my eyes bulging. Haahah..

I try Thai food, Phuket. I like the chicken, but too bad I just forget what is that. FYI, it is red. The tom yum, I heard it tastes good.

 

And..I love Indonesia because of the culture, nature, ethnic fashion, and food :)

Aceh's food had taste like Malaysian-Indian-Indonesian. There's curry, cane, teh tarik, rendang, even cendol (a bit incoherent). The price is not really expensive. Price for students : D

I love this cane: Cane cheese-sweetened condensed milk.

FYI: Terong Belanda Juice is very refreshing!